It’s the third week of quarantine here in Dubai, and we are now on a 24 hour lock down. We don’t have that privilege that they have in the UK, where you’re allowed out once a day for exercise… we can’t even go to the supermarket without obtaining a permit from the police first. Not that I can actually go… only one person from each household is allowed to leave, and with no supermarket in walking distance, and seeing as I can’t drive, that nominated person from this household will be boyfriend.
Just like the Sinead O ‘Connor song,
It has in fact been (approximately) seven hours and fifteen days, since I:
- wore mascara
- did my fake tan
- wore a socially acceptable outfit
I think it’s the longest time in my adult life, where I’ve really let myself ‘go’. Although, as I write it, It doesn’t really summarise the point I’m trying to get across… Continue reading
The airport wasn’t even five minutes behind me when I saw the monstrous billboard advertisement by Heineken.
Holiday troubles are part of the tradition, enjoy them.
Accurate, I told myself as we whizzed on past, weaving through the onslaught of mopeds and scooters. Mario Kart, but with more traffic. But this wasn’t a virtual reality. I had just touched down in the Indonesian island of Bali and this was not a drill. Due to the severe rainstorms and flash flooding that had unexpectedly hit the UAE, causing mayhem across the entire infrastructure, it was a miracle that I’d arrived at all. Delayed flights, and cancelled ones too, I’d made it! Despite the sleeping pills, the turbulence kept me awake, and I was still jet lagged, still on California timing. I needed a coffee. Or maybe an Aperol; I was finally on holiday after all, and surely, if the billboard was in fact right, I’d already encountered my share of ‘holiday troubles’. Bring on BAAALI!Continue reading
Today marks the tenth day of Christmas, and the first day of opening my advent calendar. I’m sure I’ve mentioned before, that one of the only perks of being an air hostess is that whilst you’re traveling, you amass a backlog of chocolate advent calendar windows to open upon your return. Luckily, that meant that today, I got to open not one, not even two, but ten chocolate windows. Yes, a Cadbury breakfast is a fine way to kick off a rainy Tuesday morning in Dubai.Continue reading
“I think you could write a book. Kind of, an anecdote of ‘Why Men Love Bitches’. You could call it something like, ‘What Not To Say In A Relationship’. A bit like ‘How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days’. Those sort of vibes.”Continue reading
My mum is my biggest fan. She is my absolute biggest cheerleader. The first person to watch my IG stories (because she somehow worked out that she can receive notifications of when I post anything…) and the first person to message me every single morning when I wake up. But, her being of the Baby Boomer Generation, and me being a millennial, have some very differing opinions and outlooks, especially when it comes to social media.Continue reading
My friend was chatting to me, but I kept being distracted by the child who was blatantly staring at me. I could see her, out of the corner of my eye, watching me, unblinking, whilst she crammed cake into her mouth with both chunky fists. Just as I was beginning to wonder if I had a bogey or something on my nose, the cupcake with it’s sprinkles and glittery frosting was finished. “CAAAAAAKE!!!!! MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMM. ME CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE.” She screamed; throwing herself against the plush pink couch giving zero cares about the sticky mess she was leaving in her wake. Oh dear, that sofa looked expensive…Continue reading