WEDDING BELLES & WEDDING FAILS

“I love reading your blog Pam.”

I hadn’t written one in a while and to be honest I’d been rather lacking inspiration. Maybe because I’d been so happy? Was it easier to write about miserable stuff? 

‘Well, if you’ve got any ideas or suggestions for what to write about next, then fire them this way!”

It wasn’t that stuff hadn’t been happening. It’ was, but it was just that the topics were subjects I didn’t feel ready to share or talk about just yet. (Save those for another day – maybe).

“Maybe you’ll get inspired after today!” She said as she raised her glass. She couldn’t have been more right.

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WHITE GIRLS ON VACATION

“And how do you feel?”

“Well, Doctor S said that when it kicked in, I’d know… That it would be like finding light in the dark… I am not really sure that I am seeing the whole light yet?”

The doctor laughed from the bottom of his belly. “Listen, I wouldn’t quite word it as ‘poetically’ – shall we say – as Doctor S put it… but, the tablets are mainly to help build your confidence a bit, which will have a knock on effect on all the other aspects of your life.”

“Is the light more like when someone leaves the hall light on and the light shines through the gap under your bedroom door? Rather than the floodlight I was expecting?” I asked him as I got up to leave his office. He smiled, “Give it time, Pam! Come back and see me in June. And enjoy your holiday!”

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FRIENDS 4 FAMILY.

We were sat on a beautiful big balcony, overlooking the sea but I sat there looking down forlornly at the bubbles in my sparkling water. “Is this rock bottom?” I mumbled quietly to my friend.

“I think so…”’ she replied, “But do you know what happens when you reach rock bottom, Pam?”

I continued to focus on the bubbles in the glass in a bid to stop the tears that were threatening to burst their banks at any given moment. I shook my head.

“The only way left to go is, up.” 

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GROWING PAINS.

A few weeks ago, at the end of a hike to the top of a volcano, we sat basking in the natural springs, dirty sneakers saturated with ash dust, thrown to the side of the rocks. 

“Did you bring your slippers for after?” the girl I was with asked me. 

I shook my head, cursing myself for being so unorganised. We had woken up late, cue me, throwing things into the back pack last minute. Water, sunglasses and sunscreen were the only essentials I had thought to pack in my sleepy haze, throwing in a swim suit last minute for good measure. 

She threw her head back and laughed. “See! This is how I know that I’m ready to be a mom!”. 

Her words have been playing in my head like an annoying song that gets jammed in the brain on repeat, ever since. How come at thirty years old, I wasn’t able to organise myself for a day trip, and yet here I was, daydreaming of a not so distant future that contained babies? I really ought to raise the bar to this girls’ level, I told myself. Yes… me, myself and I had work to do.

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REGINA GEORGES’ VS CADY HERONS’.

It’s foolish to deny the want to be popular. On some level, you want to be popular. It’s okay, everybody does. Everyone wants to be liked and actively seeks validation in belonging to a tribe. Denying it is no use; it’s pure evolution. But the fundamental question to women worldwide should be, which tribe do you want to belong to? The Superficial Squad who value everything materialistic, or the Sincere Tribe who only serve to nurture your best interests?

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WHAT IS LOVE?

And no, I do not mean the song by Haddaway, but you can listen to it here if I’ve put you in the mood for it.

“Here, I’ll forward the link to you now, and tell me your score!!!” My flatmate bounded enthusiastically out of the room in search for her phone so she could ping the quizto my inbox. We’d spent the evening gabbing away at the dining room table about “The 5 Love Languages” after she came across it on a podcast. “It’s a book you know.” My other flatmate chipped in. “I’ve got it on my kindle if you want to borrow it.”

Love languages? There are approximately six thousand, five hundred spoken languages in the world, and I had only learned one – how the hell was I supposed to understand five new ones all about   L O V E ?

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